104 very Evangelical references in my novel

Book is good, whether you know this stuff or not

Business:

• This week, I’ve started trying to do Actual Book Promo, AKA slowly reaching out as time permits to some books/religion creators who might find it interesting that a demonstrably good novel about an underexposed topic has already generated a $39,000+ donation to the Trevor Project, with more on the way. But I can’t possibly reach out to everyone, so if you can put the project on the radar of ANYONE who might like to cover it in any way, I’d be very grateful!!

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Played a little game on Twitter: Hit me with a reference to something from White Conservative American Evangelical World that normies might not know a lot about, and I’ll tell you which page it’s already on in my novel.

Here’s that list, along with others that were asked about elsewhere.

First, let me emphasize this: This book is good regardless of whether you currently understand all these words or not. (Lots of people who didn’t grow up like me have said so.) These things are either explained in context or breezed past in IYKYK fashion, and they’re all in there for Story Reasons. It’s good to learn stuff!

• Accountability group: Chapter 15 is the best thing anyone’s ever written about it.

• Acquire the Fire youth conferences: Chapter 33’s title.

• “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”: Page 266.

• Adventures in Odyssey, the Focus on the Family radio program for kids: Page 198.

• Amy Grant, harmless Christian singer, being constantly canceled by Christians: Page 42.

• Awana (as a stand-in for various similar regional/denominational children’s organizations): Nine Awana lines throughout.

• Band substitution chart that tells you to listen to KJ-52 instead of Eminem: Page 187, including that exact example.

• Bible sword drills and other scripture-knowledge games: Technically page 264, but arguably much earlier as well.

• “Big House” hand motions, set to the Audio Adrenaline song: Page 10.

• Bob Jones University: Page 246.

• “Breakfast,” the bizarre Hell song by bizarre Australian band the Newsboys: Page 98.

• Campus Crusade college ministry: Page 198.

• Carman, the omni-genre MAGA musician: Roughly a dozen mentions, beginning on page 18.

• Carrying lots of folding chairs in hopes of impressing girls: Page 5.

• Cassie Bernall, the Columbine legend of: Page 27.

• Catholics and Evangelicals asking each other questions that reveal they’re oblivious to each other’s experiences: Page 18 (and most of chapter 25).

• Church bus-ride scandals: Chapter 18.

• Church camp: The very first scene, of course.

• Christian coffee shops with painful pun names: One of the four I came up with: Robust In The Lord Always.

• Christian hip-hop from before Lecrae and Kanye: Page 76 might be the first mention.

• Christian ska: Technically 70+ mentions, if you count the AIM handle “xOneGirlArmy86x” as a different mention each time.

• Christian comic books: Page 54.

• Christian T-shirts that convert a company’s logo into cringey evangelism: The story’s fifth paragraph includes this one:

• “Christmas Shoes”: Page 219. (Fun fact: One time, due to a local miscommunication, my metalcore band opened for NewSong, the band that plays this infamous tear-jerk attempt.)

• Church paintball: All of chapter 9.

• Cornerstone Festival, the “Woodstock for weird Christians”: Page 266.

• DC Talk: Two chapter titles — and neither one is “Jesus Freak.”

• Deliriou?, the band that really styled its name that way: Page 98.

• “Democrats are the Antichrist”: Lots of that stuff is in here.

• Disney boycotts: Page 57.

• Dress codes that forbid spaghetti straps, two-piece swimsuits, normal shorts, etc.: Parts of chapters 9 and 18 and then some.

• Extreme Days, the Christian sports movie that released weeks after 9/11: The 9/11 chapter’s title.

• Evangelicals citing The Matrix and Lord of the Rings in sermons: Many such cases.

• Every Young Man’s Battle, one of the more demented purity-culture handbooks:

• Facing the Giants, the Christian football movie: Page 4, technically.

• Fellowship of Christian Athletes: Page 32.

• Frank Peretti, “the Christian Stephen King”: Page 57.

• Halloween knockoffs called things like Harvest Festival: On page 35 alone, I’m giving you “Holy-ween.”

• Harmless TV shows banned: Pokemon and Buffy in chapter 10.

• Harry Potter hysteria: A handful of mentions.

• Hell billboards: The book’s cover. (This info wasn’t public at the time someone asked about it.)

• Hell Houses (and other kinds of trauma-inflicting nightmare theater): Numerous, including all of chapter 21.

• Homeschool culture: A thread begins on page 10.

• “I Could Sing of Your Love Forever,” the worship song: Page 242.

• I Kissed Dating Goodbye: Uhh, like a fifth of the whole thing?

• “I see that hand,” said by a minister during a call for closed-eyes salvation commitments: Page 15.

• “If you were to die tonight, do you know where you’d spend eternity?”: Page 9, albeit phrased differently.

• International adoption as evangelism: Page 41.

• Jack Chick’s illustrated pamphlets about everyone going to Hell: Page 67.

• James Dobson: His name appears 12 times, in addition to Breakaway Magazine, Brio Magazine, etc.

• Jars of Clay: Page 101.

• Ken Ham-style creationism arguments: Page 63.

• Kirk Franklin crossing over into not just the typically pasty CCM market, but pop culture at large: Page 153 and elsewhere.

• “Mary, Did You Know?”: Chapter 31’s title.

• McGee & Me, the Christian live-action/cartoon combo: Page 198.

• Men controlling their lust is the responsibility of women: Page 15, among others.

• mewithoutYou, the beloved Abrahamic rock band: Chapter 37’s title.

• Michael W. Smith: Page 147.

• Missionary dating, or “I can fix them, as in fix their soul”:

• Multiple baptisms/salvations because you don’t feel certain that the previous ones saved you from an eternity of infinite agony: Page 8 and many more. (Some of you have now become convinced to buy this book and become hesitant to read it. Please know this, my sibling: I see that hand.)

• “Leave space for Jesus”: All of chapter 17, plus elsewhere.

• Lock-ins: Page 21, for starters.

• “Open the Eyes of My Heart”: Page 78.

• Quoting Romans 13 in a debate about the government: Page 168.

• Pastor brags about having a smokin’ hot wife — years before Ricky Bobby’s parody that wasn’t a parody: Page 86.

• Pat Robertson: The copyright page, actually. (Because my protagonist quotes one of Robertson’s paragraphs.)

• The Power Team, the Christian bodybuilders who existed decades before Righteous Gemstones spoofed them:

• Praise band clearly wishes it was Coldplay: Page 153.

• Praying the Rapture won’t happen until you’ve had sex: This one’s so universally microtargeted, we made sure it’s in the book’s back-cover description. (It was already on page 44.)

• Promise Keepers: Page 9 and elsewhere.

• Psalty the Singing Songbook: Page 287.

• Purity balls, one of several weird Mike Johnson things that I thought were normal at the time: Page 84.

• Rapture movies from before the Left Behind series: All of chapter 6.

• Rebecca St. James: Page 254.

• Relient K songs besides “Be My Escape”: What, like “Marilyn Manson Ate My Girlfriend” and “Gibberish”?

• These things:

Page 21.

• Secular rock music demonized: Page 18, etc.

• See You at the Pole, the annual prayer gatherings of Christian public schoolers: Four mini-scenes.

• Solid State Records: Dawg, I guarantee this novel includes more Christian metalcore than every other novel combined, including novels that haven’t been conceived yet.

• Starflyer 59, the landmark shoegaze band everyone likes: Chapter 22’s title. (That’s even the appropriate number, I just noticed.)

• Student leadership conferences, a la Discipleship Now: Page 235.

• Steven Curtis Chapman: Page 98.

• Sufjan Stevens: Chapter 27’s title.

• Sunday schoolers figuring out the answer to every adult’s question is just “Jesus”:

• Switchfoot: First and last chapter titles.

• “There was a gate in Jerusalem called the Needle’s Eye, which means Jesus wasn’t literally saying rich people can’t go to Heaven”: Page 267.

• Third Day: Page 129 and so forth.

• This exact Bible’s paint-splattered cover:

Page 35.

• Trinity Broadcasting Network: Page 13.

• True Love Waits: One of my favorite jokes. Page 90.

• Underoath’s Christian black metal era: The 1999-vintage hoodie in the author’s headshot. (Also chapter 13.)

• “Unequally yoked,” a biblical quote contorted into a way to yell at Christians for dating non-Christians: Page 14 and one of the main story threads.

• Vacation Bible School: Page 87 and the author’s podcast.

• Veggie Tales: Page 67, chapter 35’s title, etc.

• The “war on Christmas”: Chapter 5’s title.

• Wild at Heart, the book about masculinity that seized the brains of a generation of Christian men: Page 216.

• Winter youth group retreat: Chapter 23.

• WOW Hits 2003: More than a dozen of this Christian compilation’s artists are discussed by name.

• WWJD: Page 110 and what have you.

• Writing your sins on a piece of paper and throwing it into a fire: Page 12.

• Young Life: Page 146.

• Youth minister telling horny teens how awesome sex is (within the confines of a godly marriage): All of chapter 11.