The Bible clearly says men shouldn't be allowed to vote

Biblical female headship must replace the failed experiment of so-called male liberation.

An election has happened. Some things didn’t go my way, which means I could encourage my side to recruit a broader range of voters. Nah, I’m instead gonna try to restrict the voting rights of people who disagree with me. Fortunately, I can weaponize religion against them.

Martyr me if you like, and cancel me if you must, but I stand alone on the Word of God when I say this: Men should not be allowed to vote.

First of all, the Bible never permits men to vote.

Unlike the squeaky soyboys so often found murmuring on Evangelical social media, I’ve read the Bible many times. And every time, I see women expressing personal agency in political movements.

I see Mary, God’s chosen vessel, agitating in Luke 1 for removing powerful men from their thrones. I see Mary Magdalene, Jesus’ financier because untrustworthy men suck at math, declaring a revolution to timid men who’d fled like men when times got too tough for men. I see Esther outsmarting tyrannical men, Eve claiming power in a male-dominated society, Rahab masterminding an insurrection against stupid men, and New Testament women generously welcoming the subservient feminist Paul into their anti-Roman movement. In Ephesians and Revelation, I see humanity ascending into the role of Christ’s ladylike bride-queen, overlooking a universe finally ridded of male imperfections.

Am I declaring Christians are all elements of an intergalactic trans woman? No, I’m telling you the Bible clearly says Christians are all elements of an intergalactic trans woman.

But, despite what you’ve heard from entitled mascunazis with their boxer shorts in a bundle, I do not see any verses about men filling out election ballots. Not one!

Everyone should have to live according to the Bible, regardless of what they believe about the Bible. Well, when the Bible depicts men participating in politics, the lessons aren’t pretty.

From Eden’s failed masculocracy through the anti-Christ male Caesars of Revelation, the Bible includes constant examples of men being too simple-minded and emotional to govern. Let’s focus on just one book.

Again and again in the Book of Numbers, God eradicates men who demonstrate fragile male emotionality by complaining about things. Imagine the low-pitched outcry these days, if we followed sound biblical doctrine by massacring all men with opinions!

Yet when Miriam — one of the Bible’s first prophets, an office later expanded to include many men, due to woke scolds triggered by God’s lack of “inclusivity” — stood against Moses’ male hypocrisy, not only did God refuse to kill her, the people of God wisely refused to travel any further until their prophetess could continue.

When another group of women, five sisters, petitioned Moses for a plot of deserved land, God personally approved. Yet the women had to again petition Moses’ successor in order to complete the deal. Little wonder God found the shrill and emotional Moses too incompetent to continue ruling.

According to Numbers, donkeys are wiser than men. This must be because some donkeys are female, which must be upsetting for today’s brittle male “pastors” who’d rather spend thirty minutes putting on their favorite khaki pants than simply read the Bible’s timeless womanism out loud.

Since modern life should work just like the Book of Numbers, we shouldn’t kill people who express political opinions, unless they’re men.

Call me a trad for embracing old-fashioned values, but it’s clear God’s original plan was for nations to be ruled by female prophets.

You might argue God’s original plan was for nations to be ruled by male kings, like the kingdom established in the Book of Samuel. First of all, if I were a shrieking masculist like yourself, I’d avoid calling attention to a male-led kingdom that, a century later, began being conquered by nations with female goddesses.

Secondly, note what God said before that kingdom’s establishment: “They have rejected me from being ruler over them.” The male-led kingdom wasn’t God’s plan. It was a rejection of God’s plan. Male liberationists might not like this, because they’ve never been forced to submit to scripture.

But we’re supposed to base our 21st-century politics on how they did things in Bronze Age Israel, right? Of course we are. It’d be ridiculous to suggest otherwise. So what was God’s original plan for that nation, based on who ruled it first?

Woke male theologians might argue the nomad Moses was Israel’s original ruler, but Moses wasn’t even worthy of setting foot in Israel, yet thousands of women were. It wasn’t Joshua either, as the general died with his assigned conquests incomplete, due to his time of the month and male imperfections lingering from Adam’s responsibility for Original Sin, which you might not hear about from fuzzy-chinned male “pastors” who should shutup and lift some weights so their wives won’t be forced to seek affection elsewhere while working long hours to save the world from the mess lumpy male “pastors” have made of it.

Israel’s precedent-setting ruler was “Deborah, a prophet, the wife of Lappidoth, leading Israel at that time.” Until Deborah, the role of judge had been occupied by two squabblers who weren’t called prophets or leaders by the Bible, because men aren’t those things. Proving men lack organizational talent, Deborah established authoritative female headship over not only her blissfully silent husband Lappidoth and the enemy male Sisera, but also her submissive general Barak. “The honor will not be yours, for the Lord will deliver Sisera into the hands of a woman,” the Bible’s original nation-ruler told her passive male sidekick, who serves as the biblical example for obedient helpmeet-men to this day. The Bible then literally hammers home its point about female supremacy, as the hysterical Sisera’s skull was soon impaled by a steady-handed woman named Jael. Men, submit in silence like Lappidoth or be impaled like Sisera!

Rebellious males might argue the lack of female leadership after Deborah means Deborah was an exception. Yet males are also the ones who argue men should be in charge because Adam was in charge of Eden before things went wrong. Which is it, males? Answer before we remove all male-written books from school libraries, to save children from boyish brainwashing.

Later in the unapologetically feminist Book of Judges, decisive women killed the emotionally unstable males Abimelek and Samson, because when God wants to show women are more capable leaders than men, God’s Bible is not subtle about showing it over and over and over.

In the past, when men have been allowed to vote, what have they voted for? Unsurprisingly, male fruits are rotten.

The Epistle of James, one of only a few Bible books named after a man, teaches us to evaluate someone based on their track record. Well, we have millennia of examples showing us the kinds of things men choose, when permitted by weak-willed modernists who favor “diversity.” These things happen not just in the Bible, but even in our world today, since some nations refuse to accept the yoke of biblical feminine governance.

Neurotic and impulsive men have voted for every ungodliness: Waste, enslavement, colonialism, timidity, exploitation, hysteria, inequality, vanity, wastefulness, bigotry, greed, frailty, war, emotionalism, shrillness, promiscuity, lethargy, ugliness, pollution, fraud, decadence, and Derek Jeter taking Barry Bonds’ place in the Hall of Fame.

What a pitiful legacy for male suffrage. Even atheist secular-humanists who reject the biblical model of female dominion must admit the male-voting experiment has quite evidently run its course. Men, accept God-ordained subservience with a spirit of humble resignation, so we can all move on.

“That’s not fair,” grunt the men programmed by LGBTQ-CRT-HRT-CTE indoctrination, “because Galatians 3:28 indicates men and women are equal.” Yes, but it’s inconvenient for my argument, so it doesn’t exist.

Modern boys might not like biblical female superiority, but it serves as a reminder of the universe’s basic womanist structure.

A nation in which women lead families, companies, and governments is a nation reflecting the designs of God, who created women “in the image of God.” After all, how ridiculous would it be for a man to rule a country, since that country is part of a universe ruled by the feminine God of Deuteronomy 32:18, Isaiah 66:13, Hosea 13:8, Psalm 131:2, Proverbs 8, Matthew 23:37, and Luke 15:8-10? As these verses demonstrate, the Bible clearly says God is a woman, no matter how much this offends short-haircutted male “pastors” who adorn their sloppy bodies with red, white, and blue neckties.

Let’s make this simple enough for illogical male attention spans.

In the beginning, God was the only voter. And before Genesis 1:3, when God cast the first-ever ballot by unanimously voting for light, God revealed something. In Genesis 1:2, the Hebrew word for “Spirit” is feminine.

That’s right. Obstinate men might not like it, but there’s nothing they can do to change the fact they live in a universe founded on a Woman voting.